I have to start this by apologizing for not coming on this website earlier. I guess I was afraid to because I still find it easier to live in denial. I always find my self talking about her in present tense, as though she’s just on vacation and then some moments I’ll be driving and just start crying because I remember that she is gone. I remember the first time that Emily and I really hung out, we were at a party and I was joking with one of my sorority sisters and I said, “I’m gonna mess you up KT style” (KT being the name of our sorority) and after that every other phrase that Emily said had “KT style” in it and all night she threatened to “mess people up KT style” I remember I drove her home that night and went back to my boyfriends house and I said “I love that girl!” I also remember taking her to get her industrial piercing that she was so proud of. We’re sitting in the piercing place and everyone in the room has a million piercings except me and Emily but the whole time she kept saying “I’m such a bad ass!” I was always so jealous of her because she was everything that I ever wanted to be. When I met her I thought, why can’t I be like that? I never understood it when she would ask me questions like, “are they mad at me?” or “do they not like me?” she never understood that EVERYONE loved her. She always use to call me when she was sick and I always offered to take her to the doctors or go check on her (which is why I don’t get why she didn’t call me) and she would never have it so I would just sit and talk to her for over an hour until she would either feel better or just be so sick of listening to me talk that she would at least say she felt better (probably the later of the two) but I was always happy to do it. She was the same when it came to giving her rides. She would offer me like $10 for gas money when I was only driving her like 2 blocks… I would get so frustrated “Emily you don’t need to pay me anything! I like driving you around, I just don’t want you to have to walk!” One of my other memories is the last conversation we had. I was dropping her off at home after our Sunday sorority meeting. We were discussing how busy our up coming week was going to be. When she was getting out of the car she said “I’ll give you a call later this week” and I said, “yeah, other wise I’ll see ya” because I knew that we might be too busy to see each other during the week and I just can’t get over I matter of factly I said “I’ll see ya” like it was a given… that’s my biggest regret… that I just assumed that I would see her again. I’m so angry that I didn’t have a chance to spend more time with her.