I can’t believe it has almost been one year since Emily left us. Some days it feels like longer, that it was so long ago that I last heard that laugh of hers. And some days the memories just seem like yesterday. Thanksgiving break was especially difficult for me this year, b/c the Friday of that exact weekend last year was the last time I saw Emily. I was at a party with a bunch of friends, including Megan and Colleen. There were a lot of people there and Ems didn’t stay very long, but I remember every word she said to me and can still clearly see the expressions she had on her face that night. That particular night was not a very good one for her. She was down and not really in the mood to be out and about. But she stopped by anyways to see us. That meant a great deal to me. I remember when she left, Megan had walked her out to her car. I just sat there for a moment before joining the rest, thinking to myself how much I love that girl and how much I miss her now that we go to different schools and live in different cities. I was sad she was having a rough night, but of course, she still managed to put a huge smile on my face and we talked for a bit and caught up on things. I was really looking forward to Christmas break b/c Em and I had made plans to hang out. I couldn’t wait. This Thanksgiving break, I was once again with Megan and Colleen and I felt Emily was with us that night too. We toasted to her and knew she was laughing right along with us. Although I know she is no longer here w/ us on earth, it still surprises me when I remember that I can’t go visit her in Milwaukee and she won’t be there when we go home. It is something that has taken so long to adjust to, as I’m sure it has with anyone who knew her. Pictures I have of her are all around my dorm room–even on the background of my computer. It really makes my room a more happy place and the memories are with me each time I look at one of the pictures of her that I treasure so much. She made such an impact on my life. I know many people were better friends w/ her than I was, but in a way only Emily and I knew-we had a bond. It was always there and we knew it. We lit each other up…and were always goofy when around each other. We just understood each other and had a lot in common. I just wish I had the chance to tell her how much I loved and cherished her friendship. But in a way, I really believe she does know. There are times I still break down and also times when I laugh out loud at the very thought of her–in a good way of course! I hate that she’s gone–but I know she will be w/ me, and us all, for a long, long time. She was a rock for so many of us. When I am having a bad day, or am going through something tough and I think to myself, just for a split second, that I can’t do it–I think of Emily and how she would not have taken that kind of attitude from me! She believed in me. I want to push myself and live the best life I can–in a way for her as well as me. She lives on through us all and so many people know how great she was. Many of my friends from school, especially my roommate from last year, feel they know her too. My roommate always said that I talked about her so much and told so many stories in such detail–that she forgets that she never met Emily. She feels sad right along with me. Emily was just that great. She can touch people who never even had the chance to meet her! That’s talent right there! I think about her so much–in class, when falling asleep, when I’m out with friends, all the time. She was such a spirited and spunky person and there’s so much to remember. When I hear the Beatles–especially the songs “In My Life” and “Let it be” I feel her presence. When I think of the movie “Save the last dance”–one of my favs–it reminds me of her b/c that was the last movie we watched together. And when I hear Justin Timberlake on the radio–I remember when back in the day Emily, Megan, Alissa and I went to the *N Sync concert in Milwaukee. When dressing up for a special occasion I think of how excited Ems was about her graduation dress–which she looked astounding in. Whenever there’s a raffle for prizes, I remember when Megan, Colleen, Ems and I were at Las Vegas night taking a picture and Emily was all distracted and impatient b/c her name had just been called to get a door prize–she said “I NEVER WIN ANYTHING!!! YAY!!!!” She was so happy at that moment. The funny thing is that more than most people–the memories about her all seem to be good ones. All in all, I can’t help but smile when even her name is mentioned. She made such an effort to help others and was such an entertainer! This up and coming anniversary will be no doubt a rough time for us all, for thinking back to when I heard the news that awful day, gives me goose bumps and a lump in my throat. But let us remember what she would want us to remember–her laughter, her humor, her radiant smile and funny faces. Her kindness and her unique ability to connect with people. The fun times and the memories all of us keep close in our hearts. This is what we should be thinking about–for HER. 🙂 I am so thankful too have known Emily and I am a different and better person b/c of her. Emily–I miss you dearly and wish I could see you one more time…..but I know one day I will see you again.