Month: December 2004

“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.” -Calvin and Hobbes Being so far away its hard to stay in touch, I would just like to offer Em’s whole family a hug . I have never met a friendlier more loving family, I am in no way suprised that they created a daughter like Emily. I hope today can be a day that forever brings good memories, although it will allways be a happiness that brings tears. I think Em must owe me about 3 boxes of puffs by now. My heart goes out to everyone today that still misses their friend, i wish we could have her back. Dan Ajer “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.” -Mother Teresa

As if she was looking down and laughing with me today, Em just gave me the best present ever. Obvioulsy I was looking at this day with a pretty sad mood, but Emily had a different idea. It’s been snowing all day, which I acredit to her, and just like we did a few years ago in my back yard, today my friends and I went outside and played football in the snow. It was so much fun, and I can only think that Emily was watching over me and enjoying every minute of it. When I came inside, I wandered into my Rector’s room where he had some hot apple cider that he gave me. That’s just uncanny! Thanks a lot, Emily. I love you, and I’ll always remember this day.

It’s been almost a year now, and I figured it was time that I should share my memories of Emily. I remember the first time I ever met Emily. It was in PH’s acting class our freshman year. She was so excited about going to New York and the Carson Daly show. I was kinda making fun of her for it, as I often did to Emily, and kidded her by telling her that I saw her on TV. She got so excited about it. That acting class was made a lot better because of Emily. No body liked it, but we had such a good time with each other, that it made it all worth while. Over then next few years, Emily and I became really good friends. I think the best memory I have of Emily is one night, I think it was freshman year, we were all over at my house and there was like two feet of snow outside. We decided it would be fun to go out and play football. We had so much fun just acting ridiculous out in the snow. We were running around and tackling each other and just having the time of our lives. Afterwards we came inside and had hot apple cider. It was probably one of the best nights of our high school years. We had started to spend less time together the last few years, which I really regret because we had such a good friendship. However, we did spend every New Years together. The first ones at Alayna’s house, and then the last one was at my house. Those nights will always hold a special place in my heart, as well. Emily was one of the best friends I’ve ever had. We had a kind of connection that you don’t find very often. I think of her pretty much every day. Occasionally I feel sad or angry, but in the end I always feel very fortunate that I was able to have a friend as good as Emily.

I have kept Emily’s last E-mail and periodically look it up and with the anniversary of her death… it is a great comfort as she tells me she hadn’t written because…….her sorority was very important to her and I am so pleased she had that experience, etc.. She also said she hadn’t been feeling the best…but she ended telling me she loved me and that is wonderful to be able to call up…I love you too Emmy…love Grandmum

I just thought I’d share a few verses from a song that reminds me of Emily and what we are all going through. It’s a very good song, I recommend listening to it. 🙂 “MY OLD FRIEND”–by Tim McGraw My old friend, I recall The times we had hanging on my wall I wouldn’t trade them for gold Cause they laugh and they cry me Somehow sanctify me Their woven in the stories I have told And tell again… My old friend, this song’s for you Cause a few a few simple verses Was the least that I could do To tell the world that you were here Cause the love and the laughter Will live long after All of the sadness and the tears We’ll meet again, my old friend Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye My old friend, my old friend Goodbye, goodbye

I can’t believe it has almost been one year since Emily left us. Some days it feels like longer, that it was so long ago that I last heard that laugh of hers. And some days the memories just seem like yesterday. Thanksgiving break was especially difficult for me this year, b/c the Friday of that exact weekend last year was the last time I saw Emily. I was at a party with a bunch of friends, including Megan and Colleen. There were a lot of people there and Ems didn’t stay very long, but I remember every word she said to me and can still clearly see the expressions she had on her face that night. That particular night was not a very good one for her. She was down and not really in the mood to be out and about. But she stopped by anyways to see us. That meant a great deal to me. I remember when she left, Megan had walked her out to her car. I just sat there for a moment before joining the rest, thinking to myself how much I love that girl and how much I miss her now that we go to different schools and live in different cities. I was sad she was having a rough night, but of course, she still managed to put a huge smile on my face and we talked for a bit and caught up on things. I was really looking forward to Christmas break b/c Em and I had made plans to hang out. I couldn’t wait. This Thanksgiving break, I was once again with Megan and Colleen and I felt Emily was with us that night too. We toasted to her and knew she was laughing right along with us. Although I know she is no longer here w/ us on earth, it still surprises me when I remember that I can’t go visit her in Milwaukee and she won’t be there when we go home. It is something that has taken so long to adjust to, as I’m sure it has with anyone who knew her. Pictures I have of her are all around my dorm room–even on the background of my computer. It really makes my room a more happy place and the memories are with me each time I look at one of the pictures of her that I treasure so much. She made such an impact on my life. I know many people were better friends w/ her than I was, but in a way only Emily and I knew-we had a bond. It was always there and we knew it. We lit each other up…and were always goofy when around each other. We just understood each other and had a lot in common. I just wish I had the chance to tell her how much I loved and cherished her friendship. But in a way, I really believe she does know. There are times I still break down and also times when I laugh out loud at the very thought of her–in a good way of course! I hate that she’s gone–but I know she will be w/ me, and us all, for a long, long time. She was a rock for so many of us. When I am having a bad day, or am going through something tough and I think to myself, just for a split second, that I can’t do it–I think of Emily and how she would not have taken that kind of attitude from me! She believed in me. I want to push myself and live the best life I can–in a way for her as well as me. She lives on through us all and so many people know how great she was. Many of my friends from school, especially my roommate from last year, feel they know her too. My roommate always said that I talked about her so much and told so many stories in such detail–that she forgets that she never met Emily. She feels sad right along with me. Emily was just that great. She can touch people who never even had the chance to meet her! That’s talent right there! I think about her so much–in class, when falling asleep, when I’m out with friends, all the time. She was such a spirited and spunky person and there’s so much to remember. When I hear the Beatles–especially the songs “In My Life” and “Let it be” I feel her presence. When I think of the movie “Save the last dance”–one of my favs–it reminds me of her b/c that was the last movie we watched together. And when I hear Justin Timberlake on the radio–I remember when back in the day Emily, Megan, Alissa and I went to the *N Sync concert in Milwaukee. When dressing up for a special occasion I think of how excited Ems was about her graduation dress–which she looked astounding in. Whenever there’s a raffle for prizes, I remember when Megan, Colleen, Ems and I were at Las Vegas night taking a picture and Emily was all distracted and impatient b/c her name had just been called to get a door prize–she said “I NEVER WIN ANYTHING!!! YAY!!!!” She was so happy at that moment. The funny thing is that more than most people–the memories about her all seem to be good ones. All in all, I can’t help but smile when even her name is mentioned. She made such an effort to help others and was such an entertainer! This up and coming anniversary will be no doubt a rough time for us all, for thinking back to when I heard the news that awful day, gives me goose bumps and a lump in my throat. But let us remember what she would want us to remember–her laughter, her humor, her radiant smile and funny faces. Her kindness and her unique ability to connect with people. The fun times and the memories all of us keep close in our hearts. This is what we should be thinking about–for HER. 🙂 I am so thankful too have known Emily and I am a different and better person b/c of her. Emily–I miss you dearly and wish I could see you one more time…..but I know one day I will see you again.

one sunday night i was at youth group and i was worried because emily hadnt shown up yet….but about 15 min. later she comes running into the church, i go up to talk to her and all she could talk about was her new prelude that she got….she went on and on about it, first i thought she was really odd because when i saw it i didnt see anything super fantastic about it but i was happy for her, but her happiness grew on me because now im in love with the car too,i have to give her credit her excitment made me fall in love with honda preludes. So for my next birthday and for christmas i asked for one(my family looked at me like i was crazy asking for a car) i dont know how she did it but i fell in love and i just HAD to get one. when emily went to college i lost touch with her but it felt like she was always with me because whenever i saw a prelude the memory of her being so happy came into my mind, and it still does to this day, i havent gotten my car yet but when i do i will finally then realize whats so fantastic about it, until then whenever i see one fly down the road i smile and laugh because for that split second it feels like shes right next to me smiling and so very happy.