Month: December 2003

Emily came from a line of strong women. Emily’s grandmother (my mother), Mimi was the smartest woman I ever knew. She had the extraordinary ability to make sense out of the worst situations, to make the world right again. Mimi’s words could heal. Emily’s mom (my sister), Margaret has the same gift; to think things through and impart wisdom. I have for many years been awed by Margaret’s heart and mind. Margaret’s words have taught me and helped me so much. Emily, revealed to me more than once that she too had the gift. Emily was wise beyond her years. I remember feeling in her presence like I was the child and she was the grown-up. She was so loving and open, so strong and solid. Emily was emotionally and intellectually fearless and her observations of life were blunt and astute. It is a small comfort for me to think of what Emily might have to say at this time of grief and anguish. I think she would say to me…. be contented, live the life you have to the fullest, don’t worry too much, all is well. I miss you sweetheart and I will try to live up to your beautiful legacy.

From about the second semester of my sophomore year until about november of my junior year i was “in charge” of driving emily. It began because she couldn’t drive yet and i lived less than ten minutes from her. The drives were always interesting. We had some of the best conversations that i had ever had in my car. I like to think that i got to know her a way that was different than most people knew her during those times. She eventually got her license, but i was still her driver. The only bad part of it was her music. She refused to listen to what i wanted to. Eventually i just gave in and put her stations into my presets. Then for my 17th birthday she decided to make me a tape. I Think it was because she wanted to be able to listen to what she wanted in my car. Anyways. . she told me for weeks that she was going to give me this. . . About a week before my birthday we had a “falling out” if you will. I didn’t think that i’d get the tape, and to be honest i was hopefull that i didn’t since i didn’t like her music. Long story short, i got the tape, and if it says anything that tape is still in the tape deck of my car, even though i dislike about half of the songs. As for the car trips. . they lessened over time, until the point where there were none. I miss them terribly, because i think that we had a specail friendship in my car. . . It is impossible for me to think about emily without thinking about our fun car rides. . .

I went to high school with Emily for all 4 years. Although Emily and I were friends freshman, sophomore and junior year, we became GREAT friends senior year and the summer before college. I often hung out w/ Emily, Megan and Colleen together. Us 4 had a bond. There are so many memories and good times that I don’t just have one story to tell. From going to the N’ Sync concert w/ her, to being w/ her at Las Vegas Night…the memories are great. Emily had a great affect on my life. Emily and I were very alike in personality. We were both loud and had a love for laughter and fun. You would think two people with the same personality may clash, but no. When we were together our laughter and loudness and fun doubled. So many times when the 4 of us hung out, we would spend the majority of the time just LAUGHING. One time in particular, we were all hanging out in my basement and Emily and I started “rapping” to an, of course, offbeat tune. We went on and on rhyming and just being goofy. I made up a line that was AWFUL. It didn’t work…it didn’t make sense. It was just plain BAD. Well Emily just lost it! She laughed at me and laughed and laughed. It wasn’t even funny! As we all know, Emily’s laugh is quite contagious. The 4 of us laughed until our sides hurt…until my family could hear us on the top floor and until we didn’t even know what we were laughing at anymore. Emily had a way of making the most boring situation lively and humorous. Emily and I fed off each other’s words a lot and always had such a good time. When I went through a tough time in my life, Emily’s smile and corny jokes made everything seem better. Even when she felt sick she was funny. She pushed herself and fought the battle of her disease w/ endless integrity. We stayed in the same room for our senior retreat and I will never forget that night. Emily, Colleen and I stayed up and talked and laughed for what seemed like forever. Although I may not have known Emily as well as some of her other friends did, I knew what kind of person she made ME want to be. She had this twinkle in her eyes and a smile that is known to all who knew her. She had a distinctive laugh that will echo in my ears as long as I live. Her joy for life and her sarcasm and strength were apparent in all she did. The amount of lives that Ems touched in her short 18 years is absolutely amazing. She greeted everyone w/ her beautiful smile and made them feel special. She had a way with people and the people she touched will carry her with them and keep her here forever. This has been one of the most devastating times of my life, yet remembering the stories, the laughter and the endless amazing qualities Emily had will help me heal. My heart goes out to her family and I hope they know they are in my thoughts and prayers. I was with Emily over Thanksgiving break and when I said goodbye I remember thinking…”what an amazing person..I can’t wait to see her again”. And I will someday…but until then she will forever hold a place in my heart and bring out the joy and laughter in my life. This is a poem I wrote about her when I found out she had passed away: Emily~ An amazing person taken too soon, You’re laughter and smile always lit up the room. To me, you were always such a great friend, I really wish our good times didn’t have to end. From rapping about things such as “singular hardee”, To laughing and talking….you were the life of the party. You have no idea how much you’ll be missed, You had so many great qualities…to many to list. I will never forget the times that we had, You changed me as a person and for that I’m glad. I saw you only a short 2 weeks ago, I hope you know how much I love you and how much I don’t ever want to let you go. Jen~

Russian…Word had it that Emily spoke Russian before she spoke English as she had a Russian baby-sitter. Jewelry…When Emily was very little, we heard that she loved jewelry. Some of us Chicago relatives collected our gaudiest costume jewelry & sent it up to her. Hats…Margaret sent me annual school pictures of Ian & Emily. In at least one, Emily wore a hat. When I commented on it, Margaret told me Emily was “a hat person”. Sug, Emily’s maternal grandmother was a world class hugger. I believe that when Emily died, Sug was there to meet her & give her a great big hug!

Emily and I went on the WV trip with our youth group 2 summers ago. (like in every story that has been shared here about her) Emily knew how to make your dayand show you a real good time! Well I remember sitting in our bedroom while a couple girls did eachothers hair, some colored, well Emily was sitting with my notebook drawing our leaders from Youth Works, they were….interesting drawings to say the least( I guess you had to be there to know what im talking about). well a couple of days ago i was cleaning my room and I came across that notebook and when I opened it I got the biggest smile, I busted a gut and I cried all at the same time. I closed my eyes and all I saw was us running around playing games yano the ones that we would play when we were ohh I would say about 5 yrs. old, too bad I was going to be a junior and Emily was going to be a senior, so you could just see Emily’s crazy faces and gestures. That night Emily got sick and I helped her lay down I looked in her eyes knowing she was sick and needed to get help, I was soo scared for her at that time, But Emily is a never ending story because a couple days later she was back into action and came down to the kids center to help out, I knew right then and there and all hell would break loose and the kids would have just found their best friend because Emily was a character, and I great friend who is truly missed but will NEVER be forgotten!!

When Emily was about five, I often visited Wells and Margaret, played with the kids and stayed a bit after they went to bed. After a beer or two or three, it was time to leave. I went to get my shoes, but one was missing. We scoured the house, blaming the dog, the cat, my bad memory – but couldn’t find the shoe. Finally, we were forced to wake up the kids to see if they knew where it was. Emily knew. She had taken it and hid it under her bed.

When Em was in about 3rd or 4th grade she asked me very intently about whether or not there was a REAL Santa. I told her that there was DEFINITELY a spirit of Santa that involved giving to others. She asked who filled the stockings. I said I did in the spirit of Christmas. From that point on she wanted to help. Every Christmas Eve we would fill all the stockings. She made sure we went shopping for the right things to put in the stockings-toothbrushes, the right candy, BIG oranges, socks, and little gifts. We took a great deal of care picking out specific things for everyone’s stockings. She helped me fill them and hang them. I miss her so much. We did not have stockings this year. I just could not do it. I miss my helper. I miss my Em.

One of the greatest memories that i have of Emily is a mini-golf game we once had. It was in the middle of the week, and pretty late at night when we walk into this in-door mini-golf place. We get our putters and golf balls and start a routine game. Well, on the second hole we start to knock the others ball backwards and block shots. By the third hole we are running into eachohter trying to knock the others ball away. At the fourth hole she almost tackled me into a fountain. On the fifth hole she hit my ball onto the driving range…. You can imagine how it progressed from there. It was the greatest game of mini-golf ever played…

I met Emily when she moved to McFarland. We were good friends in middle school. I have so many great memories that I shared with her. One in particular day, we were when playing in her back yard on her swing set. We were talking and horsing around. All of the sudden she ran away and found two rocks. She came back and gave me one and told me that they fit together perfect because we were best friends. (I still have my rock, which she painted purple.) She then made up a group for us to be in. She said that we’re both unique people so we would be called unique-ers. Emily could always make me laugh. We were just kids, but no matter what we did it was fun. I lost touch with her when she went to high school, but everytime I saw her she’d still greet me with a hug and an Emily smile. She was a wonderful person and will be missed, but we are all blessed to have been fortunate to have our lives touched by such a great person.

I went to Edgewood with Emily for all four years, and we hung out a lot during freshman and sophomore year. One of favorite memories (besides her surprise birthday party at the cottage during sophomore year, that was an amazing time!) with Emily is one time when I was at her house with I think it was Colleen in either freshman or sophomore year, and we were in the basement watching movies and pigging out on snacks. We went upstairs for something and when we came back down, the bowl of Doritos that had been full when we left was now empty. We wondered who could’ve eaten them since we were the only ones there, and we realized that it was the dog! We had a long laugh about that one. Emily was an amazing person, the kind of person that anyone would strive to be. Simply being in her presence was enough to brighten up even the worst of days. She literally lit up any room she was in with her big smile and infectious laugh. We didn’t hang out as much in the last 2 years of high school, and I really regret that now, but with Emily, no matter how long it’d been since you’d hung out with her, she still greeted you as if you were the best of friends and made you feel genuinely cared about. I will really miss Emily, as I’m sure everyone who ever had the pleasure of knowing her will as well. I can only hope to be even half the person Emily was.